{"id":370,"date":"2023-10-19T09:12:06","date_gmt":"2023-10-19T16:12:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hmc.edu\/alumni\/?page_id=370"},"modified":"2025-03-25T10:56:10","modified_gmt":"2025-03-25T17:56:10","slug":"adulting-after-mudd","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.hmc.edu\/alumni\/gold-society\/adulting-after-mudd\/","title":{"rendered":"Adulting After Mudd"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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“For the Mental Health Utility Belt” with Brenda Castro ’18<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Over my years of struggling with mental health and wishing that I were a robot, I have learned that the mental health journey is never straight and that change is inevitable. Both the external world we live in and our internal selves will grow and transform. Understanding ourselves is already practically impossible and considering that every moment we take in new information, we cannot expect the same strategies to always work for us. Dr. Robert Duff (also known as Duff The Psych) sums this eloquently:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“You are allowed to have ups and downs. You are allowed to get tired of practicing a certain self-help skill. You are allowed to thrive and not need to actively use a certain skill for a while. The line of progress, especially in mental health, is never straight.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a human is… hard work. As an aspiring therapist — well, Advanced Clinical Resident — I am here to support you. So I want to share some tools for you to explore, experiment with, and use as you see fit. I encourage you to build a utility belt for yourself. Life will happen unexpectedly. You will face your fight-flight-freeze response. And when your brain’s amygdala is reacting to keep you safe because we evolved to survive the dangerous wilderness, your frontal lobe that allows you to think rationally about your current situation in 2022 will simply lose the fight to your amygdala. Preparing for those situations will benefit your future self. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let’s start with three tools. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, there’s 4-7-8 deep breathing<\/strong>. Deep breathing hacks the parasympathetic nervous system. What’s that mean? Our bodies have a sympathetic nervous system and parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic one turns on to activate you to run away from a lion. The parasympathetic one turns on to calm you down, rest, and digest. What’s even cooler is that inhaling turns on the sympathetic response, and exhaling turns on the parasympathetic one. Exhaling will calm you down. Unfortunately, this connection is not magic or instantaneous. The tool will work better if you practice using it, especially when you are not stressed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So what is 4-7-8 breathing? It is a pattern of inhaling for four counts, holding for seven counts, and exhaling for eight counts. These do not have to be exact seconds, just try to count evenly. Count in your head while you inhale: one… two… three… four…. Hold your breath and count to seven. Then exhale and count to eight. Then repeat. Start off simple. Do three cycles. Or do it for two minutes. And, if you are motivated to, do it for twenty minutes. Breathing is good for you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, there is journaling<\/strong>. Writing on paper is really helpful for slowing down and intentionally processing your experiences. While there are also lovely apps for writing on your digital devices, paper does not have extra associations with work or social media. Additionally, you can only write down one word at a time with your choice of writing utensil and paper. That promotes intentionality and alleviates the racing, overthinking spirals we can fall into. There is no wrong way to journal, be it in what you write or when you write. Writing is good for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third, there is PBAP<\/strong>: Pause, Breath, Anticipate, Plan. This mnemonic (again, from Dr. Duff) is helpful to remember as a buffer between activities. Say you are coming home from work. Before you enter your home, you can pause. Breathe. Anticipate what to expect at home. Will there be your partner(s) or kid(s)? Will there be dishes to clean? Will you need to cook? Then plan. Do you want to take a moment to savor coming home to the people you love? Do you want to sit down and thank yourself for another day of hard work? Do you want to enjoy a cup of chamomile tea? Do you want to play your awesome music playlist while you cook your dinner? And then go about your evening. Intentionality is good for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

About the Author<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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Brenda Castro (B.S. CS and Math ’18) is a driven philomath here to help improve our wellbeing. She currently works as a mental health counselor with Good Therapy NYC, a practice based in Brooklyn, New York. She is also a rock climbing coach with Movement LIC (previously The Cliffs). During Mudd, she did three summers of CS research and a CS Clinic. After graduation, she started a Cornell Tech PhD. During the first year and following gap year, she worked several different jobs in STEM education. She also worked at a grocery store, becoming an essential worker during the pandemic. At one point, she had five jobs at once! Castro holds an MSEd in mental health counseling from CUNY Hunter. Out of all the various coping tools she uses, she journals most often. She appreciates her fountain pen and physical journal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Money Management” with Marissa Lee ’18<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In the last blog post, Emily Roberts ’07 described three helpful actions we can take to improve our financial futures:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Know what you want out of life<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Put your salary offer in the context of the cost of living<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Take action on retirement ASAP<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    What does it look like to map this out? And how do you translate what you want out of life to setting a budget? In this post, I\u2019ll walk you through the strategies I use to keep track of my money. Everyone\u2019s situation is different – for example, I am fortunate to be debt free, and I don\u2019t have financial dependents. Because of this, I won\u2019t be able to tell you how exactly to manage your money, but I hope showing my process empowers you to think about your own money management.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Let\u2019s get started – each year, after I submit my taxes, I go through three steps to manage my money:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    1. Set goals<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    2. Set a budget<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    3. Stick to the budget<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Step 1: Set Goals<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      The key for managing my money is knowing my values and setting goals based on those values. The top values that influence my finances are keeping debt low and enjoying life with family and friends. This translates into the following financial goals (in order of importance):<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      1. Cover the necessities<\/strong>: these are things that I need to pay for regularly – rent, graduate student health fees, etc.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      2. Maintain a rainy day fund<\/strong>: I don\u2019t know what the future has in store for me! While I\u2019m fortunate to be in a stable financial situation, I keep ~20% of my annual income money set aside for emergencies. Once this goal is met, it remains met, and I only revisit it if I\u2019ve needed to dip into the fund. I save this fund in a Money Market Account<\/a>. This account has an annual percentage yield of 0.25%, much higher than the 0.06% national average of savings accounts, so the fund grows (slowly) while still being easily accessible should I need it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      3. Max out retirement contributions<\/strong>: I\u2019m looking out for my future self, who will want to enjoy retirement without financial worry! For me, this looks like contributing $6k annually to my IRA<\/a>. (See more on 401(k)s and IRAs<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      4. Live comfortably<\/strong>: eating out 1-2x per week, going on ski trips, and not having to think too<\/em> much about whether or not I have the money to go to a concert with a friend are the keys to living comfortably for me.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      5. Donate<\/strong>: when I was young, I received a weekly allowance of $3. The three dollar bills would go into three separate piggy banks: one for spending, one for saving, and one for charity. It\u2019s been ingrained in me to give some of my money to causes I care about. And, donating is a great way for me to stay connected to organizations with impact! Plus, in the 2020 and 2021 tax years, the IRS gave a $300 deduction<\/a> for donations, even if you took a standard deduction. I read that on average, Americans donate 2.5-5.9% of their incomes<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      6. Maximize savings<\/strong>: once all of the other goals are met, I invest what\u2019s left. I tend to be aggressive in my savings and often let this drive my budget more than one might expect it would as my bottom-of-the-list goal.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        These goals aren\u2019t strictly ranked – there\u2019s some iterating and balancing acts. And remember, they\u2019re my <\/em>goals (yours will likely look different)! If I had debt, I would likely prioritize a regular monthly payment above maxing out retirement contributions. There are many considerations that would go into this decision though, and I\u2019d have to find a balance that made sense with and fit with my goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        In the next step, I define how I want my goals to play out each month.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Step 2: Set a Budget<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

        When setting my monthly budget, I use a nice, simple spreadsheet<\/a>. Here\u2019s what I input:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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        1. Pre-tax income<\/strong>: what I know I\u2019ll earn this year from my graduate stipend and some on-the-side tutoring.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        2. Taxes withheld<\/strong>: the amount of taxes (federal and state) withheld from my paychecks. This shows up on my pay statements.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        3. Savings goal<\/strong>: At a minimum, $6k annually to my IRA. If I had student loans to pay, I would list my payment goal nearby.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        4. All of my spending categories<\/strong> (e.g., Auto & Transport, Entertainment, Food, \u2026)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          [Income] – [taxes withheld] – [savings goal] = [money to allocate to my spending categories]. How do I set budgets for my spending categories? I use last year\u2019s expenses (recorded in Mint<\/a> or through my credit card companies) and any expectations I have about expenses for the next year (e.g., a big trip or an increase in rent). Most of these fields are just estimates. I use them as benchmarks, just to give myself an idea of what I should try to stick to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          For those sharing expenses with others, you\u2019ll want to discuss your budgets! Share values and goals with those around you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Step 3: Stick to the Budget<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

          When it comes to sticking to my budget:<\/p>\n\n\n\n